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01:28pm 02/07/2006
 
 
JJ Flynn
so im sitting in my room right now rediscovering what it is to have an LJ and this is all very now to me AGAIN! wtf is that.. again... hahaha.... crazy... but ya soo now that i have it again i think i might acutally use it for some reason or whatever i dont know really but were going for it.... w00t!
 
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(no subject)  
01:43am 14/09/2003
 
 
JJ Flynn
Why dont u people tell me what u think of this one so far. its not done yet so dont get a final conclusion i do a lot of changing to these:


|Deception|

How could u do this,
the only one I cared for
The one thing I abhor
You didn't bring him into it
Instead you tried to hide it.
Deceiving. Misleading. Fool.
How could u say "I love you" to him and I.
Thought I knew you, thought I knew you wouldn't lie
Im sorry our love took so long, I was feeble.
Didn't know anything about love or what I wanted.
Now I know what I want
Its you.

I want nothing more then to hold you
Feel your body against mine
hear you heart beating in your chest
To kiss you, Hug you, Feel you.

Even my sorrow weeps for what you've done.

You are a master con, u had me fooled
I thought u actually loved me.
I was told "I have never felt for someone as I do for you"
mood: Calming down, still upset
music: "And All Things Will End" by Avenged Sevenfold
 
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(no subject)  
11:18pm 13/09/2003
 
 
JJ Flynn
Hi everybody, havent done this in a couple of dayz, but im not very happy so i figured since theres only one person that reads this that i know of that has any sort of care to me at all i dont really care if i put it here. Idunno why but i keep hearing my girlfriend talk about her EX BF and its really pissing me off but the problem is because he keeps calling her and she keeps calling him back which is of course the polite thing to do, but its weird i keep ahving these strange feelings that their is something going on between them, she says that she has never felt towards anyone how she feels for me, but idunno i dont wanna sound untrusting cuz i do trust her on side of like 3 other people in the ENTIRE WORLD. I think its because i love he so much that i would dread what would happen if i found out she was fucking around, dont wanna sound like a spaztic asshole or anything but i think i would kill him, literally, i would drive all the way down to fuckin desert hot springs, bring her along and let her watch me cut his throat (just in case u were wondering NO i wouldnt ever hurt her even if she did do that to me, he would die, but i would harm her at all, maybe emotionally and/or mentally but she would probably deserve it, and she knows it) but im like going crazy because its weird its like i dont trust her but i know i do i just really dont wanna get hurt not with her i dont care if it was anyone else just not with her besides killing him i dont know what i would do... and no im not trying to be dramtic, not my style, im just trying to calm down im really confused i think im going to call Stephine tomorrow considering shes katies best friend and would know if theres anything and hope that if there is that she would tell me, because i dont wanna bring to it katie directly cuz if she was she would lie about it, but shes a horrible liar so it wouldnt work then i would be more hurt cuz she tried to lie to me. well anyway as u see im really concered.


On another note read my newest poems idunno what i think, one is song lyrics that i wrote, and the other is a poem. Anyway here u go:

~'-My Hell-'~
Its never quiet
not in my head, thoughts of darkness
back and forth
make it stop
or it will lead to my demise

See you in hell
In the storm
In my mind
Blankeded by my emotions
These thoughts coil, ready to strike

When do they end
Why do they come
I dont want this
Stay wtih me
Until i sleep,
Please hold me close
To keep me serene

See you in hell
In the storm
In my mind
Blankeded by my emotions
These thoughts coil, ready to strike

Look at my face
expressionless
I cant show you my pain
You wont understnd
My loathsome wrathful thoughts
They consume to drive me
they must end one day

See you in hell
In the storm
In my mind
Blankeded by my emotions
These thoughts coil, ready to strike

See you in hell
In the storm
In my mind
Blankeded by my emotions
These thoughts coil, ready to strike

Welcome to my Everlasting Fire


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---NAMELESS---

Why does it end like this
You crying me angry and irresolute inside
Im so heartsick but I cant show.
Its my fault why your like this
youll never know what it put me though
But who cares about me, WHO COULD.

I love just to be dropped
I love with all passion, like no other
All this war inside me, all this pain outside me
Why wont it go away leave me be
I hate you, i fear you I fear those words I love you
Unless u say them, then im frozen, cant move
Its something that overwhelms me
Drives me mad

Whats This madness that surrounds me
that surrounds us your everything to me
Everything I want, I need, I long for.
But what do I have left to lose
Ill kill myself, End my pain



both of them are mine u steal and i somehow find out ill mentally trumatize u, and u do know im very edgy latly. So whatever happens is ur own damn fault.
mood: distresseddistressed
music: "This Is My Dream" by Lacuna Coil
 
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(no subject)  
11:58pm 31/08/2003
 
 
JJ Flynn
Fuckin Shit. lake county fuckin sucs a big one. SO GOD DAMN BORED TODAY. i saw randa tho that was cool we made fun of people talked about the usual, anyways. Yeah the senior picture thing was weak, the guy is apperently a very touchy feely kinda guy which if u dont know completly clashes with me, i havent seen my GF in like almost 2 weeks but ill get to see her in school on tuesday which is cool but i cant fuckin do anything, well sexual, less i feel like going into a bathroom or way out to the feild which i dont think shell be upto, but ill deal with that shit.

My dad sucsessfully fucked up my engine again my breaking a bolt off in it which is fuckin weak cuz now i cant even drive tot eh first day of school, it was almost all back together after putting in a new water pump i was all happy cuz the new water pump is going to stop this weird knocking tapping like noise that has been driving me crazy for a long ass time , BUT NO now thats not gunna happen, god damn stupoid rust shit make my bolt break peice of crap whore shit bag thingy that i hate. So yeah car no worky JJ gunna definatly kill someone or soemthing or idunno if i dont start drivng and have sex soon, im going Fin mad....
mood: blahblah
music: "Chapter Four" by Avenged Sevenfold
 
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(no subject)  
07:05pm 29/08/2003
 
 
JJ Flynn
GOD DAMNIT SON A BITCH IM NEVER GOING TO GOD DAMN WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EVERY FUCKIN TIME!!!!
every time i go to the god damn drive-in theres nothing good playing but last time it was ok my GF was there to make it easy to not pay attention but this time im going with a bunch of guys WTF am i going to do now. This is gunna be hardcore weak fuckin uptown girls and freaky friday... FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.... oh yeah did i mention FUCK
mood: crappycrappy
music: "We Come Out at Night" by Avenged Sevenfold
 
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(no subject)  
06:05pm 28/08/2003
 
 
JJ Flynn
YAY senior pictures are today, this should be fun, "Look here, wait turn lke this," *SNAP SNAP SNAP* FLASH OF INTENSE WHITE LIGHT IN MY FUCKIN EYE BALL!!!!!!, yeah iw as right after takeing the pictures i was right HORRIBLE HORRIBLE WHITE LIGHT ARGGG. Anyways it wasnt that bad the guy likes to touch a lot but i made sure he knew not to touch me, made me happier
then jon took his and he wore that shitty little tux jacket thing and looked hella funny, so thatw as great.
Then me and chris went to the local arcade to play a little pool, i like chris sometimes he spends a lot of money all the time so i got a 10.95 meal from the toqeria which was excellent, then we went back adn played more pool only to discover this dumbass little kid that said something about some shitty ass nissan beating my car in a race, ok this kid is like 7-10 years old he cant drive he doesnt own it its for sale somehwere and he still talks shit, oh yeah AND ITS A NISSAN! vs. my american muscle, i bet something about NOS so i tell teh little kid hey buddy im sure u would need the nos to beat me, he said no but what he doesnt understand is that NOS on a nissan could mostly likly blow his engine to shit. but this kid doesnt know shit, THEN after that he disses on some mustang then proceeds to say fords suc, i dont know what hes been looking at but my ford has been a daily driver for almost 33 years and it still running strong. So in the end im all pissed off cuz that kid is a fuckin retard and i know hate him, dont be surprised if u see more about that kid in the furture im hella pissed off ill probably mention it for like 5 or so dayz.
mood: aggravatedaggravated
music: "Remenissions" by Avenged Sevenfold
 
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UPDATE!  
12:39am 28/08/2003
 
 
JJ Flynn
HOLY CRAP IM BACK, well life is going still lame but not all bad. Im going out with one of my Ex girlfriends again, her mom hates me apperently im a drug dealer and thats where i get all my money which is great considering i have NO MONEY EVER! but thats old news the new news is that ive been trying unsecessfully to get her into bed OR ANYWHERE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER, but her mom interviens on that too once again making my life harder, sometimes i swear i hate parents, last weekend i had the perfect chance no parents and my house shit i woulda fucked her on the cold cold tile floor or in the kitchen or laundry room, or anywhere, repeatedly, but yeah she gets grounded for like 4 dayz for the first time in her life, its always a full week or more never under a week EXCEPT FOR THIS TIME! which as u can tell drives me mad. (just incase some of u people are thinking no im not in this relationship only for sex although it may sound like that sometimes, im acutally happy with her just a little fustrated, mainly cuz im not the only one that wants to fuck in this relationship, so to all u bastards that thought i was some kind of little stereotypical guy u better learn something about me, i am quite far from the "norm" and completly individual unlike a lot of america.)
I got my car working again finally, shortly after completing an 800-1000 dollar brake job, im on my way home from lakeport i hit a pretty steep hill, just for u epople that dont know i drive like a bat out of hell sometimes this just so happened to be one of those ocassions, with a 90 degree turn quickly approching confident in my brake job that i did myself, i wait until the last mintue to use my brakes about 3 seconds before i hit the turn i depress my brake pedal to learn that my brakes are non-existant, so in the 3 seconds before i die the only thing i think is that "hey my brakes are gone, maybe i should do someting......... ummmmm.... downshift? that seems like my only option or hit that bigass telephone poll, hmm: 65mph + 3000+ solid steel car = JJ milkshake" so in this case i cared about my life/body and downshifted directly to 1st thus narrowly avoiding dropping my tranny, but putting my car intop a slight skid because thats what will happen when u go to first from 65 in a car with an 11:1 compression ratio but i corrected that easy but the guy behind me seemed all pissed off probably because with my sudden slowing of speed and my lack of brake lights he almost hit me, i dont car my truck is alreay fucked up and his insuance woulda paid for it, but he didnt so my truck is fucked still but im getting there.


So it seems school starts again next tuesday which is cool and lame at the same time, i get to see my friends and my GF everyday during the 5 day week and theres nothing anyone can do about it, SO THERE KATIES MOM PUT THAT IN UR ASS AND LIKE IT AND YEAH IM GUNNA FUCK UR DAUGHTER, god i hate that bitch, shes so very opposed to me, as u can tell this subject pluages me quite a bit.
mood: pissed offpissed off
music: "We Come Out at Night" by Avenged Sevenfold
 
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WTF?!?!?!?!..... part 2  
12:47am 30/11/2002
 
 
JJ Flynn
what the hell is going on my mom is suddenly hurt or what not about something ive been telling her for like 2 years, some chick my cousin's GF is hella pissed and suddenly doesnt like me, which i dont care but its the princapal of the matter, OHHH and the most shocking thing of all, did u know that its DEROGATORY to people by having a tounge or eye brow percing... yeah nither do i, other then about 20 mins ago my day was great, i went to lakeport for no reason at all we got there and then immedately turned around and came home, i was then dropped off at one of my friends house, maily to see her little brother cuz i havent seen him since he was like born, when i got there he was all confused on who i was, then about 3 or 4 hours later he was like my best friend giving me hugs and what not, it almost made me change my mind about having kidz on day but probably not. ANYWAYS MY LIFE IS FUCKIN GREAT, and right abotu now im probably feeling sorry for myself and people are thinkin wow that guy needs a fuckin life... i dont feel sorry for my self i just felt like doing something and since my comp is being gay this is the only thing i have to do. and this is a journal so HA...
 
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WTF?!?!  
01:09pm 28/11/2002
 
 
JJ Flynn
Dude ill never understand our government allt hey do is bitch about everything but then a few people in congress or wtf ever get all pissed off the jack up the price to EVERYTHING i mean 50 cents for a public LOCAL call is fuckin retarded..
God damnit i hate thanksgiving its liek the stupidest fucking "holiday" ever theres nothin that is possible coolabout it, people come over cuz they dont have a family of their own then im forced to spend time out with the "group: therefore making me conform to social standerds which if u know me u know that i fuckin hate conforming, it really is much more diffacult then runnign a life of ur own which brings me to my next topic on how my parents refuse to let me have my own life, their somewhere around the area of "JJ HURRY GET UR LICENSE SO WE DONT AHVE TO DRIVE U PLACES ANYMORE" as if they already fuckin do WHICH THEY DONT! and "ur not goign to be able to use ur license when u get it cuz of ur bad grades, and just to let everyone know im notorious for bad grades but all my grades are above a C this year cuz i just reilized that im smarter then middletown CUZ MIDDLETOWN FUCKIN SUX MY NUTZ!!! full of hics and shit, it bothers me i cant stand people that are all about teing up a cow or riding horses or what not, HAHAHA I WAS SOO RIGHT my mom JUST came in and said "dad told me to tell u it would be nice to see u today" meaning JJ GET THE FUCK OUT OF WHAT EVER UR DOING AND ACTUALLY HAVING A SEMI AMOUNT OF FUN CUZ WE CANT HAVE HAPPY!!!! god im fuckin physic sometimes i swear it!
 
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AHAHA I WIN A**HOLES  
01:49am 28/11/2002
 
 
JJ Flynn
AHHAHA after allt eh color changes which took me like a fuckin hour its done and good!!!!!!
 
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j3zU$  
12:58am 28/11/2002
 
 
JJ Flynn
That fuckin shit took soo long this shit better be hella cool lokin or im goin to be pissed i swear i hit something!!! ARG im soo fuckin tired and lake county, California is the most peice fo shit poor crap ass hic town int he god damn world id almost rather live in some third world contry!!!!
 
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